Barbeyaki

Untapped Grilling and Other Addictions

Archive for the category “Holiday Cooking”

Christmas…… And The Dreaded “F” Word

Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house,

was a stench like no other, and it wasn’t a Dead Mouse!

It was the dreaded Christmas “F” word…….

Fruitcake

Fruitcake-1

Growing up in Mississippi there was lots of Fruit Cake. I still don’t know where they came from, and who was baking these things. But there were tons of them floating around the Mississippi Delta.

And for some reason the only person who liked to eat them was My Father. So every two days my Dad would come home from work with another Fruit Cake. He had many ways to enjoy them:

He would eat a piece for dessert. He would put a big piece in a bowl and cover it with milk for breakfast. he would toast a slice and cover it with Peanut Butter for lunch. Why not……he had an ample supply in the freezer which could supply his love and desire for Fruit Cake twelve months out of the year.

The Gross Insides of Fruit Cake

The Gross Insides of Fruit Cake

It never failed that every Christmas, he would force each of us kids to try it again. And each year we resisted until he insisted and we took a bite and pinched our noses to keep form spitting it out or throwing up in our mouths. We could not, and still cannot stand Fruit CakeBut for my Father it was like Christmas was every day of the year, and he had all the gifts he could open, because no one else wanted the Fruit Cake.

So in honor of my wonderful Dad who passed away several years ago, I have searched high and low for a tremendous Fruit Cake recipe that normal folks can enjoy. And this is it:

The “Royal” Fruitcake

Ingredients:
1 cup water

1 cup sugar

4 large eggs

1 cup Mike and Ikes      (bet you didn’t expect this)

1 cup Nestles Butterscotch Morsels

1 tsp. baking soda

1 tsp. salt

1 cup brown sugar

lemon juice

nuts

bottle of Makers Mark(Now we are talking)

Procedure:
Sample the Makers Mark to check for quality. Take a large bowl. Sample the Makers Mark again. To be sure it is the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink. Repeat.

Turn on the electric mixer, beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar and beat again. Make sure the Makers Mark is still okay. Cry another cup.

Turn off the mixer. Break two leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of Mike and Ikes. Mix on the turner. If the Mike and Ikes gets stuck in the beaterers pry it loose with a drewscriver. Sample the Makers Mark to check for tonsisticity.

Sift two cups of salt. Or something. Who cares? Check the Makers Mark.

Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Spoon. Of sugar or something. Whatever you can find. Grease the oven. Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees. Don’t forget to beat off the turner. Throw the bowl out of the window, check the whiskey again and go to bed.

And Don't forget the Pets!

And Don’t forget the Pets!

Why do fruitcakes make ideal gifts? Because the Postal Service has been unable to find a way to damage them.

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Holiday Libations (Cocktails……Yeah!!)

Ho! Ho! Ho!

Holiday Cheer to All

Holiday Cheer to All

Oh that  After-Christmas-Party- Morning !

I am sure most of us have had a couple of these over the course of our many,many Christmases. They come for one of many reasons:

1. I hate my job…and boss…and co-worker…….and my life.

2. Isn’t she or he cute looking tonight!!! I’ve got to loosen up a bit to snatch this one.

3. Ugh! The family is coming over in two days. Got to numb my anxiety.

4. These nuts are making me thirsty!

5. Nobody likes me!! Waaaaaaa!

So let’s figure out a way to not end up like this and actually stay positive, somewhat sober, and stay safe this year. Let’s have our own

Holiday Libation Cocktail Party

this year at our own place, and make it special with some very special Cocktails.

Real Eggnog

Real Eggnog

One of my favorites.

Traditional Eggnog recipe

This makes a little over two quarts.

6 eggs

    • 1 cup of sugar
    • 3/4 cup brandy
    • 1/3 cup dark rum(or bourbon)
    • 1/2 teaspoon of vanilla extract
    • 1/4 teaspoon of ground nutmeg
    • 2 cups of whipping cream
    • 2 cups milk

    Refrigerate all the liquids and get them very cold before you make the drink. Beat the eggs at medium speed until they’re very frothy. Gradually add the sugar, vanilla and nutmeg as you continue beating. Now turn the mixer off and stir in the whipping cream, milk, brandy and rum. Chill it until you’re ready to serve. It’s best to keep it chilled at all times. Garnish each individual serving with the nutmeg sprinkled on top and a cinnamon stick.

    1/2 teaspoon of vanilla extract

  • 1/4 teaspoon of ground nutmeg
  • 2 cups of whipping cream
  • 2 cups milk

Refrigerate all the liquids and get them very cold before you make the drink. Beat the eggs at medium speed until they’re very frothy. Gradually add the sugar, vanilla and nutmeg as you continue beating. Now turn the mixer off and stir in the whipping cream, milk, brandy and rum. Chill it until you’re ready to serve. It’s best to keep it chilled at all times. Garnish each individual serving with the nutmeg sprinkled on top and a cinnamon stick.

Hotty Toddy

Hotty Toddy

My favorite while a student at my SEC University….Go Rebels!

  1. 1 1/2 cups water
  2. 2 tablespoons plus 2 teaspoons honey
  3. 1/2 cup fresh lemon juice
  4. 2 cups apple brandy, preferably Calvados
  5. Eight 3-inch cinnamon sticks
  6. In small saucepan, bring the water to a boil. Remove from the heat and stir in the honey until dissolved. Stir in the lemon juice and apple brandy. Set a cinnamon stick in each of 8 mugs or heatproof glasses, pour in the hot liquid and serve.
Santa Sleigh Sipper

Santa’s Sleigh Sipper

You have to have three or four of these. It is a very smooth way transition from Holiday madness to Holiday Cheer.

Ingredients

  • White sugar crystals, preferably coarse
  • 2 cups store-bought eggnog, chilled
  • 1/2 cup brandy
  • 1/2 cup amaretto liqueur
  • 1 teaspoon ground nutmeg
  • 2 scoops vanilla ice cream
  • cinnamon sticks

Directions

Dampen the rims of 4 martini glasses and then line the rims with sugar crystals.

Combine eggnog, brandy, amaretto, nutmeg, and ice cream in a blender; process until smooth. Pour mixture into martini glasses and garnish each glass with a whole cinnamon stick.

For All of You Wine Drinkers

For All of You Wine Drinkers

  1. Seeds from 1 pomegranate
  2. Two 750-milliliter bottles cava or other sparkling dry white wine, chilled
  3. 1/4 cup pomegranate juice
  1. Fill 12 flutes with cava. Add 1 teaspoon of the pomegranate juice to each flute, garnish with pomegranate seeds and serve.
Silent Night

Silent Night

And last but not least……The Silent Night….and I mean it!

Ingredients

  • 4 cups orange juice
  • 2 cups pineapple juice
  • 2 shots sweetened coconut milk
  • 2 shots pineapple rum
  • 2 shots coconut rum
  • 2 shots passion fruit rum
  • 1 shot cranberry juice
  • Ice

Directions

Combine all ingredients into a pitcher filled with ice and stir. Serve in martini glasses.

shutterstock_115850458

And if all else fails…..pop open a can of Bud Light to the tune of “Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer”!

Be Safe and Stay Sober!

If you don’t watch it, you’ll get so liquored up you will throw yourself to the ground and miss!

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Christmas Gifts

Christmas Gifts

Ho Ho Ho…….and Ho Ho Ho Some More!

I love Christmas!!!! But my sister Libby loves it so much that she thinks about it every day of the year! When the Christmas gift exchange list comes out each year, and when we randomly pick one name to give to, she gets crazy. She will never give just one person a gift no matter what the rest of the family does. She Just Can’t Stand it!

So I asked her to put together a list of simple, cheap gifts that she would give to family if she couldn’t spend big money.

So here we go! I am warning you, she is kinda of nutty!

Number One:

Bread In A Can

Bread In A Can

I love this one. A simple used tin can with your favorite Banana Bread recipe bubbling over the top with a really fancy ribbon bow wrapped around the can! So special for the recipient. I love Cans and I love Bread. Don’t you?

Number Two:

Spoons Full of Christmas

Spoons Full of Christmas

Come on! Give Libby some credit for this one! If somebody put this in front of me on Christmas day I would poop my pants!!

Number Three:

Holy Night !  I Love Tiramisu!

Holy Night ! I Love Tiramisu!

Are you kidding me????Tiramisu topped with chocolate chip bits in a glass with a twine bow! Libby is now getting a little nutty. You Go Girl! I know this sounds really gay which is fine with me, but I am a SEC Football Nut that loves Women!

Number Four:

Lemonade Without the Lemonane

Lemonade Without the Lemonade

Ok, I know this is not so Cooking or Baking oriented. But it is really cool. Where did you get this Libby??? Can you imagine someone giving you this? If you know me, Please give this to me!

Numer Five:

Eggnog Cupcakes

Eggnog Cupcakes

I love Eggnog! Nobody else in my family really does. So I guess this is my present from Libby. I would really like to lick this bowl.

Number Six:

Honey Granola in a Jar

Honey Granola in a Jar

I should have known Libby would have a Granola gift. She is always concerned about her regularity.

Number Seven:

Man Glued to Front Door

Man Glued to Front Door

You gotta be kidding! Maybe this is what Libby wants for Christmas!

Number Eight:

Gingerbread Santas

Gingerbread Santas

Ok, these are real cute. Thank God Libby is focused again on the gifts and not that young man.

Number Nine:

Donut Ice Cream Sandwiches

Donut Ice Cream Sandwiches

Oh my! I bet my Sis had a dozen of these today.

and Number Ten:

Confession Booth

Confession Booth

That’s Libby on the left. I think she just ran out of steam with Great Christmas Gift ideas and stuck in a picture her friend took of her. But we have to hand it to her…..we could all probably use one of these.

Thanks Libby for some wonderful gift ideas. I just knew you would have some real doozies.

I Am So Hungry My Belly Thinks My Throats Been Slit

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Holiday Balls

Holiday Balls

Now that we have turned the corner from the Thanksgiving season of overstuffing ourselves and sleeping for two days straight, only to wake up and be pissed off to find 6 feet of dirty dishes and the smell of “Once-A- Year-Food-Odor” circumventing the house, it is now time to to reach for all the available stress of the next Holiday season…………Christmas…………..and………….Hanukkah!

It is time to forget about all those things we were so thankful for a week ago when we set aside a little bit of time to think about the people that had really shaped our lives over the past year, that had truly loved us unselfishly over the past year, that had sacrificed their lives for us this past year, and start making ourselves crazy, short-tempered, and neurotic. Oh don’t you just love this time of the year!

Well, I am going to attempt to soften this blow to our hearts and psyche, with some great food and humor. I apologize upfront if I offend anyone over the next 25 days or so. I am just trying to humor your depressive senses.

I am pretty sure most of you have watched Saturday Night Live (SNL for you younger folks) at some time of your life. My favorite times to tune in are Election years and Holidays. My favorite Holiday sketch is by far Schweedy Balls. An “NPR-LIke” Cooking Show featuring Alex Baldwin as Earthy Confectioner Pete Schweddy.

Just to jiggle your memory take a look at this!

Funny, Right?

Well, fortunately for me, I had the great fortune of tasting some of the best Holiday Balls on the entire planet during our Thanksgiving feast. These were called 

“Kate’s Balls”

Delightful Balls

“Kate’s Balls were very simple to make. These are made with Pumpkin Bread. Just take any of the wonderful Pumpkin Bread recipes you have hanging around, bake the loaf, and set it aside for cooling. After cooling, crumble the bread into a very fine texture in a bowl. Then take a pint of your favorite cream cheese and start mashing and mixing the entire mess together. Pretty soon you will have a slightly wet constancy that you can shape into your Own Balls. After your personalized Balls are shaped, refrigerate them while you start melting down chocolate. Any kind is fine, white,dark,milk…you name it. Once melted, take your Balls and coat them in the chocolate and place back on a waxed paper-covered cookie sheet and cool .

Close-Up of Kate’s Balls

Now it is your turn to get creative with your Holiday Balls. The sky is the limit. Banana Bread Balls dipped in Caramel……Zucchini Bread Balls dipped in White Chocolate. And if you really want to impress those In-Laws we recently talked about, put a stick in your Balls like Starbucks does and call them Holiday Pops.

Pops

So if you really want to truly send out some Holiday cheer to friends and love ones this Christmas or Hanukkah, get creative with your balls, or get your spouse to get creative with his Balls. You just never know.

Well Don’t That Put Some Rum In Your Fruitcake!

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