New Years Resolutions
I have thought long and hard about my 2013
New Years Resolutions.
I could come up with some real good ones that I would not live up to the first week. Or I can really reach deep down in my soul and pull those heart-aching convictions out and try to really do something this year. So That’s what I am going to do. I will keep my resolutions this year!
1. I will not call my mother “Aunt Betty”anymore.
2. I will stop Farting in public and blaming my children, and stop taking credit for my dog’s smelly farts.
3.I will sleep more and over eat every day.
4.I will stop using “Jack Daniels” as a Breath Freshener.
5.I will stop using “Crisco” in bed.
6.I will stop sticking my arm in the ceiling fan.
7.I will buy a tee shirt that will cover my belly.
8.I will stop taking toilet paper from the public restroom.
9.I will start to do some deeper reading, like “Field and Stream”.
10.I will stop making my wife wear Tube Tops to weddings.
11.I will give my wife that Flat Screen TV She has wanted forever.
12.I will stop bathing in the pond out back.
13.I will give my wife her nice bra back.
14.I will give my neighbor his doorbell back.
15.I will kiss my own wife on New Years this year!
Happy New Year Everyone!
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