Barbeyaki

Untapped Grilling and Other Addictions

Rough Day At The Office Dear

Things Are Kinda Poopy Now

Hopefully most of you have now figured out that the “Kitchen Sink” category is where I get to blow off steam, whine, feel sorry for myself and maybe, just maybe, provide a little insight and or wisdom to your lives. I seriously doubt it but it’s worth a little finger peckin’.

Day before yesterday was probably the biggest high and low day I have experienced. I had worked my tail off for over 4 months to accomplish a dream of mine. It took all the courage I could muster up to even try. But I did, and succeeded through the first level of my goal. Then I worked my butt off some more, learned all I could in a short period of time about the challenges ahead, and low-and-behold, got passed level two. That’s when I started thinking  for a moment, I might be able to pull this off, so I pushed myself even further and harder. I poured every ounce of my creativity, charisma, and experience that I had accumulated for over 55 years into the next project. Late nights, long days, frustration beyond belief, but it worked. After 4 months of truly giving it all I had I was notified I had made it. I did it!

I was about ready to jump through the ceiling and hug the weirdo man down the hall. I had proven to myself I still had it and that the world wanted what I had! What a feeling. There was just a little bit of housecleaning to do and contracts to sign before my dream would come true. That’s when the euphoria peaked and the depressing low started to rise. I opened up the contracts and quickly saw my life disappearing right before my eyes. Everything I had worked for in my entire career could be jeopardized if I signed these contracts. The reputation for being a good, honest, loving person for “most” of my life (I think) could be jeopardized and ruined in a flash.

Something I had dreamed about for a long time was there at my fingertips. All I had to do was sign on a few dotted lines and it would begin the next week. A new life, full of excitement, challenge, and maybe riches. What do I do? The first thing I did was go throw up. My stomach was killing me. Was I to succumb to fulfilling my own selfish dreams, or was I to, as corny as it seems, “Do The Right Thing“? Well, I am pleased to report that I ‘Did The Right Thing“, as painful as it was. I am now in the unusual place of feeling better about still being able to make good decisions and prove to myself that my character is still important. But I am mourning a little over the loss of a dream that was in my hands. Soemthing’s around the corner that will eradicate the mourning and self-pity. I just know it. And when it discloses itself, my conscience will be clean.

OK, I got it out and feel better now. Thanks for listening.

The Wounded But Not Broken Warrior

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